Mega Man X7
This game is the black sheep of the series, it's got a terrible reputation, as the first Mega Man X in 3D. But I wanted to see for myself, surely it couldn't be as bad as people say...
Well let me tell you, this is probably the worst game I've ever played, and I'm not trying to be dramatic. I can't think of a single redeeming quality, every aspect of this game is terribly executed. This shit is straight out of Glinny's Cauldron! I was more often than not laughing in disbelief at how bad it is.
It looks ugly as hell, it's hard to believe this is a PS2 game, there are plenty of better looking PS1 titles. The "art style" is all over the place, character designs are unreadable, the writing and voice acting are atrocious (even by Mega Man standards). The music is forgettable but at least inoffensive, I'll give it that.
The level design is among the laziest I've ever seen. One level is literally just a cylinder you go up and around, from left to right, from bottom to top, with some enemies dotted around. Oh, and holes, so that if you fall you drop back to the beginning and have to start the climb over. Fun!
Surprisingly, the best parts are the 3D ones, which are reminiscent of Mega Man Legends, but the controls are so clunky it never manages to be fun. At best, it'll simply not be frustrating for a couple minutes, before becoming shit again. One level with wide rooms and enemies attacking from all sides was the only time I felt like "Hey, this could actually be an average game if it had more of that!"
Small details like the lack of any audio or visual feedback when picking up items (health, hearts, containers, etc.) means that you might not even realize you found a secret or not. The bosses range from boring to extremely irritating, I mean check this out (make sure you have sound on):
Youtube Video
What the fuck!!
The weapons you get from them are imaginative and useless. I could go on. This is a turd in every possible way. At least Mega Man X8 can only be a step up from here, but I'm gonna have to take another break from this series. Can't believe they sunk so low when the original is one of the finest 2D action-platformers ever.
