Need some advice/help or a cute picture of a cat



  • Hey Allies! Hope you are having a great day!

    Like the thread title says, I am in need of some advice about my life. Since I trust you all, I decided to ask. I feel that my life is worthless and not headed anywhere.

    I don't see it as normal for a 29yr old(myself) not to I don't have a car nor a degree as of this moment. Or even a girlfriend. In my mind I see these as milestones. I feel like I messed up somewhere. Some of my family and friends say this.

    I am currently pursuing my degree in communications. I wanted journalism but it would cost too much money. Then the college staff and my teachers told me that I don't have "the face for journalism". Despite seeing people younger than me get these jobs, I still apply for jobs in this industry but still get nowhere. Not helping in my life endeavor is my depression and introverted tendencies. Crippling sadness combined with envy make strange bedfellows.

    I know I don't post as much here but love reading these forums. So, what should I do? Can I press the restart button in life?

    Thanks again!



  • Well as a 34 year old without a degree or a car (or license), those things are not the be all and end all.

    And there is always chance for a reset. The only thing you can do is try and do what makes you happy. It might sound cheesy, or overly optimistic, but if you want to be a journalist then keep giving it a shot. In my opinion it's better to try and fail then to regret it.

    But if nothing else always feel free to chat along with us.

    And now,
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  • Yeah, never listen to college employees when they tell you "no." There's something to be said for good advice, and there are definitely professors that have your best interests at heart, but there are just as ma—more, there are definitely more who don't give a shit about you the second after you walk off of that commencement stage (or indeed about even getting you to that point).

    Now, that does sound depressing (don't shoot the messenger), but it's liberating in equal measure if you allow it to be. You should to follow your interests for the future and, in the meantime, enjoy your life's mundane moments. It can take a lot of effort to be at peace with yourself, but in my experience that much is essential for any semblance of sanity. Important to that is not forcing yourself to play games or believe in things that don't work for you. Trying new things is a panacea for some people, while still introspection is the cure for others. You just have to feel out what works for you. But, that's all later. For now...

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    (You can't tell from just the gif, but she makes a cat-like "Nya?" noise at the end of the loop. I tried.)



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  • There are plenty of people with a degree that don't have a job, and plenty with a job who are unhappy. You can't try to measure your self-worth or value based on such things. It's good to strive and achieve, but don't get discouraged when people tell you that you should be at this stage or have these things. Be content with who you are, and the good things will come in due time. Also, try to surround yourself with positive people who will build you up. In any case, we love you, and are here to hang out and offer encouragement. I bet you will do the same for many of us.

    And I can't figure out how to insert a picture of my kittens alt text



  • I'm too young to give meaningful life advice, but I do want to re-emphasize what everyone's already said. Hell, you're young, too. I know of people that have completely changed their life path even later than that. The way I see it, if you can't find at least something that makes you happy in everything you do, not even as an end goal, then it's important to re-evaluate and try to figure out why that is. And yeah, come hang out in the forums. I joined recently when I was super lonely and my mood has improved tremendously since then. Some days it's the only way I can interact with friends, even if I haven't met anyone here face-to-face.

    Lastly, I hope videos are okay. An oldie, but a goodie. This will always be my favorite cat video:
    Youtube Video



  • @MXAGhost hey, its never to late to start over or follow a passion in life. im not sure I quite understand what your instructors or profs are telling you when the say the face of journalism. I think the one of the best and hardest things to do is to take criticism and learn from it and grow. what they've said to you isn't really valid criticism. if they think you can't do something, it's good to ask why. It will be hard to hear, but if you know, you can strengthen yourself in that area. You know yourself best and what your capable of. You follow your passion. However sometimes we have to take detour routes while following our passions.

    As for a girlfriend, you need to take care of you first. When you can be the best you, everything in life is better. As just so you know, I know lots of ppl going back to school in their mid 30's for a career change. You wouldn't be the only one.


  • Global Moderator

    First of all. Where would this world be if everyone always listened to people and stoped just because somesone said "its a waste of time" or "you can't do it!"? Then even EZA wouldnt exist.

    To give you something about me, I am 27 and I am JUST getting started. so I have been exactlly where you are, Im guessing mainly mentally.

    I think that its only healthy to now and then ask yourself "am I happy where I am?" or "What do I REALLY want with my life?". I believe that this is one of the ways we evolve as people. We have to sometimes take a step back, look at things and see what needs to be changed.

    I graduated collage 09 and most of my friends went off to awesome jobs or traveled the world and so on. For me I were still living with my parents at the time, had NO idea what I wanted or what I wanted to do with my life. I sunk down like a rock into a depresion (or back I should say after coming out of another one, but thats a different story). After a few months of just playing games, hiding away and feeling terrible I was lucky enough to be at the right place at the right time and a phone rang. On the other side of this phone a boss of a grocery store were whom needed someone "NOW", so I took it. Turned out the previous staff had left as the boss turned out to be - you guessed it, batshit crazy. I worked here for about 9 months, hating my life, hating my job and just earning enough money to pay some bills but not do anything special.

    I kept working at minimum wage jobs because noone else would take me with a higher degree, my friends still making shitloads of money and me just enough to survive. I didnt like people, I didnt like myself and everything felt super dark. I was stuck in life.

    Then one day I sat on top of a very VERY tall bridge.... I started to question myself. "What do I REALLY want?" and "HOW would I get there?" "It wouldnt be fair to jump and make this world a better place".

    I started to think about the few times I felt happy, what I did and why. I realised that I wanted to work within the creative industry. I told my parents and some friends, which you guessed it, laughed in my face and said "haha you being creative? thats one of the hardest markets to get into, not a chance that you can do it!". At first I felt really shot down. But I decided not to listen. I applied to universities... got shot down as my grades were absolutely terrible. I got a bunch of "We told you so!" in my face.

    I didnt give up. I started to take evening courses to improve my grades. Did that. An idea started to grow in my head... what about getting away from this shitty little town? (a town which nothing have happened in since 1518). I applied for university abroad. You can guess peoples reaction to that. However I got in and I have just graduated earlier this summer. Now I am 2 months in my role as a graphic designer. I love it and life feels great, but it is just getting started for me. - So what do I want to say with this? I hope you didn't take this as a "lolz look at me Im so awesome".

    I am trying to tell you this as a push for don't listen to what lectureres, friends or family that tells you that you can't do anything. Age is JUST a number, nothing else. You are no older than you feel. There are times when things will be dark, there are no sugercoating in that. BUT, DON'T GIVE UP! I can't stress that enough. If you want to do something - you can. Sometimes you just have to keep in going, work your arse off. Can you build a portfolio? is this your passion? can you tweak what you are doing now to get closer to your goal? Can you find another way in? Start as an intern somewhere and it can take you further. Remember that you cant run before you can walk.

    It is ALWAYS possible to start over, get new prespective on things. Focus on yourself, not what other people have achieved, comparing yourself will just make things harders. Dare to do things FOR YOU, not for others. It is like the snowball effect, get something small rolling and before you know it, you got an avalanche.

    Sorry for the super long post, I hope you can be arsed to read it all. I know that they say "Even hell gets comfy once you settle in", but Start small and you WILL be able to do it. I hope that this post can be even the tinyest thing of support.

    Love & Respect <3



  • Well, others, especially @Lotias gave a great response already, sooooo... Here is a cat
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    I hope you'll get better. Please, dont give up.
    Hugs <3

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  • Already a lot of good responses here, so I'll try not to tread the same ground. There's a lot of people out there that don't find their purpose/make the big time until much, much later in life. Look at Christoph Waltz. Amazing, talented actor but no one knew who the hell he was until he was 51. You're never too old to pursue nearly anything in life, despite what others may tell you - except join a little league sports team, you might have missed the boat there.

    Life is also about perspective. I'm going to use my cat picture to make a point. This picture is taken from an article that reads, "The Five Ugliest Cat Breeds." Yet there are people that adore this breed and love every aspect of them. I think you might be taking society's expectations and perspectives to unfairly judge yourself. Set little goals for yourself that when accomplished, will give you a sense of worth. Appreciate yourself and what makes you unique - this is all easier said than done of course, but if you keep putting effort in, you will eventually see results. Lastly, follow the advice in my second cat picture. That's right, I'm posting two.

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  • Thanks for the feedback, Allies!
    I needed this. I shall take all your advice and work on myself.



  • Everyone else already offered amazing answers, so I'll just add one thing.

    You mentioned you're interested in journalism, any particular type? Because it seems like games journalism would be a great avenue for you in this case. Do you think you'd be interested in writing reviews, setting up a website or working for an existing one, etc? Have a look around, try your hand at it independently first, see if you're good at it and if you enjoy it. I mean, Bloodworth started by posting on forums if I remember correctly. Don't need a degree when you have a passion.



  • Welcome to the club.

    There's actually a name for this situation - failure to launch. And it's increasingly common.

    I think many more people would feel this way if they spent their nights reading articles about ancient civilizations and Victorian era elegance followed by ones on how rainforests are being cut down for toilet paper and modern architecture...



  • Hey man,

    Since you are getting some pretty good support here, i'm going to give you a bit of advice that might help you in your endeavours further, but it's a little on the nose.

    You said you are looking for a job in journalism/communications, but don't have "the face for it" according to university staff? First off all, that is just noise, don't listen to that. Journalism has nothing to do with your face. However, I know it's "just" a forum post and you might not have put a lot of effort into it, but you are all over the place man.

    I looked up some of your review blogs and it seems to me you need to either be a little harder on yourself when it comes to proof reading and technique. Your writing skills are going to be your number one asset if you want to make it in communication/journalism, so make sure there is nothing to fall over.

    It's worth going back into old articles you put out there and fix what is wrong because people will google you and see your name attached to it. It might not have mattered when you posted these things, but they are now unintentionally a part of your resume online.

    There are a LOT of people who want the cool jobs in communications and Journalism, so you have to make sure you stand out. Polish up your writing skills and anything you put out in the public domain and it will help you achieve your goals.

    I'm not trying to talk you down here. You have the drive, you are willing to improve, now hustle and make it work!

    I'm kind of a cat, so I didn't include a picture



  • @TheHashtag0nist

    Thanks Hashtag0nist for the vote of confidence. I really appreciate it.

    That is a great idea you had to go back and rewrite my previous posts. I'll probably do that if I can pull myself out of this funk I'm in. Then it is just me trying to pitch or promote my work because the introvert will try to stop it.

    A question for you, where did you see the most mistakes in my writing?


  • Global Moderator

    @MXAGhost also remember, you miss 100% of the opportunities you don't take :)



  • First of all, you have time to hit the reset button (I went to grad school in my 30s). I would suggest targeting an in demand job and pursuing the education to get it. Getting a career on track will help with the car, girlfriend, and probably some of the depression issues. If not, at least you'll have the money to pay for professional help (and for a career change down the road).

    Maybe you could be a cameraman or someone working behind the scenes. I'm not saying you don't have what it takes to be a journalist, but jobs like this would be easier to get and would allow you keep the dream alive (get your foot in the door/make connections/better understand the industry).



  • @MXAGhost :

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    There is no right or wrong way to play the game of Life, so don't get discouraged by what other people say!

    Don't give up and don't be afraid of trying something different, and I believe everything will get to a point you can be happy about!!

    And I just want to leave this here as well:

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